I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart. ~ Albany Bach Reid

Wednesday, December 31, 2008

2009 Resolution Absolution

I couldn't think of a more surreal title to welcome 2009. I mean, wow. 2009 y'all! I need to have everything all planned out (kinda late? naah) if I really want to have myself more organised this time around. But one thing for sure, 2008 has created alot of fond memories which I'd cherish for the rest of my life.

So, let's talk about the upcoming year's resolution.

I dunno why but I find this comic strip is so funny I couldn't stop chuckling over it. You see, one of the things in my long list would be trying to lose some weight.


Thing is, part of making a resolution and bringing it to life, is figuring out what you want and why you want it. What feelings do you have about reaching your goal? When I look at my own New Year's weight loss resolution, I see more preferences for being thinner and not strong emotions.

So right now I am going to close my eyes and daydream about reaching my goal. Going to the closet and being able to pull out any sort of clothing and put it on and being able to easily zip up the pants (without having to hold onto your breath), button the buttons and still move comfortably...

Okay, I'm back from my daydream. Ha ha

Well yeah, maybe for the hundredth times already but who cares. Losing weight is still something I want to do. Today, at the brink of starting a new year, I am bloody sure millions of human beings will resolve to lose weight, but maybe by next week, or the week after that, or maybe even next month, most of them will have given up trying. Few lucky ones will have lost weight, and even fewer will sustain the loss.

I can't believe I'm talking about this. About losing weight which is probably (or surely) one of the toughest missions of all time. Ha ha. Wish me luck tho'.

I have more things that I believe I want to achieve in 2009 and I bet the same goes to all. Resolution is a commitment and therefore if we put our mind into it, geez.. nothing is impossible.

Happy New Year!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Wise Man : Part 6 'Theory on Resolution'

Me : (sighs) Gees.. here comes another new year. Time really flies fast after all.

WM : I've always loved the whole vibe of coming to the end of the year. Pretty much the end of another twelve adventurous months.

Me : It's quite overwhelming for me tho'. I mean, don't you sometimes feel like missing something. Something that you should have achieved but you simply and hopelessly couldn't?

WM : Don't overdo it, babe. Just chill.


Me : So, wanna tell me your new year's resolutions?

WM : Sure.

Me : And..?

WM : One and one only.

Me : Wow. You only have one resolution for 2009? Smooth... okay spill.

WM : (smirks) I resolve not, I repeat, NOT to make any more New Year's resolutions.


'Say NO to Turtle Eggs'

Crush: Dude? Dude? Focus dude… Dude? Oh, he lives. Hey, dude!

Marlin: Oh… What happened?

Crush: Saw the whole thing, dude. First you were all like
“whoa”, and we were like “whoa”, and you were like “whoa…”

Marlin: What are you talking about?

Crush: You, Mini-Man, takin’ on the jellies. You’ve got
serious thrill issues, dude. Awesome.

Marlin: Oh, my stomach. Ohh.

Crush: Oh, man. Hey, no hurling on the shell, dude, ok?
Just waxed it.

Marlin: So, Mr. Turtle?

Crush: Whoa, Dude. Mister Turtle is my father. The name’s Crush.

Marlin: Crush, really? OK, Crush. I need to get to the
East Australian Current. EAC?

Crush: [Laughing] Oh, dude. You’re ridin’ it, dude! Check it out!

So yeah. Just a snippet there from you-knoe-which-movie. I'm here to play my part on supporting a campaign to help save turtles by pledging not to eat turtle eggs. Serious stuff here.

If you happen to be a nature lover, and seem to hate it when you watch the news reporting on the brutal, ruthless killing of the endangered animals on earth nowadays, please sign UMT online petition here.

I have to admit tho' I used to eat turtle eggs and kinda liked it. But hold up! That was nearly 20 years ago and I guess back then they are not callously harmed in anyway. Lately I can see myself clenching my fingers hard, digging nails into my palms, feelin' like screaming and do some serious back kicking whenever I see some pakciks selling turtle eggs at the pasar malam.

About 15 years ago, I had the opportunity of watching turtle eggs hatched right before my eyes in Rantau Abang and there were people from Greenpeace society or something there to assist the babies back to the open sea. Unlike now, back in the good ol' days you got to bump into some really old cool turtles once in a while here in Terengganu.

Barely two-inches long, the babies looked no bigger than the sack of eggs left by sharks on the beach. They were so cute, using all their might to enter their new world.

The hatchling tried again and again, sometimes managed a five-foot entry into the sea, only to be swept back onto the beach again. And again. Then I remember we were like 'aaaahh' and 'uuuhh' when a few of them made it, and survived.

Please try not to eat turtle eggs (for those who seem to enjoy the salty taste of it) anymore.

Picture this.

Just imagine the beauty of pulling the babies out from the sand, letting them crawl for the first time and then watching them swim away to fend for themself in the open sea.

Oh yeah. Before I forget, on behalf of the ones responsible for the petition, they need your help to promote the petition as well. You could write about it on your blogs, or your Facebook and Twitter pages and what not. Not only that, you are also encouraged to send the petition link to your bosses, managers, colleagues, subordinates, lecturers, friends, housemates, family members and neighbours. Anyone you know.

Tell them all to show their support by signing this petition.

Play your part in saving 'Crush's.

Like I said, serious stuff over here..(wish you could see me nodding)

Hey 'ya know what? Think I want to share my favourite scene from the movie here. I love Crush dude. So insanely cool.


P/s: Psssst... This entry is goin' to be on top for awhile. So please, Say NO NO NO to turtle eggs! Sign up okay? Thank you, dude. lol

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Tagged #1 : Musing on Innocent Affiliations

I was tagged by a dear friend, Peed (soon to be Mrs. Afidah. yieha) about a month ago and boy, now is a suitable time to do this as we've entered a new year and maybe answering these tag questions would bring me down the emotional circuits, as a remembrance of the dramas throughout the year of 2008. So here goes;

1.If your lover betrayed you, what will your reaction be?
- Since I was small, I've watched streotyped movies where the heroin went all berserk when she found out about her mate's infidelity. So sometimes she would stalk her mate's moves, and when she got the opportunity, she'd attack the girl whose her mate was seeing and did some bitchy talking here and there. It's totally embarassing fighting over a moron like that. I remember saying to myself that I would never, ever do things like that. If you find out your lover betrays you, try to look for solid proof, and then what else? 'It's been a surreal experience being with you. Have a nice day.'

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?
- Not to worry about anything. ANYTHING.

3. Whose butt would you like to kick?
- Aiye. Maybe my dear buddy Cash 'cos he forgot to pick my free gift up at the counter. That gift was worth of RM250! Arrrgh!

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?
- It's not possible. No way. I mean, the possibility of me getting married to someone who is a billionnaire. Hmm. U uh. Beyond anybody's wildest dream. But let's just say it happens, come and see me. I'd treat you dinner. Auw!

5. Will you fall in love with your bestfriend??
- Back in 1994, I was this close (am showing the small gap between my thumb and forefinger)to really, really like my bestfriend. Then, out of nowhere, after he told me he liked me, I acted out, pretending to be such a big head over it, and our 'thing' just ended. Mind you, we hadn't even started on anyhing yet. So, I guess my answer would be, nope.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?
- Don't you think it is supposed to be interconnected. Always. I mean it would be alot sweeter and hopelessly romantic if you are loved by someone that you yourself love to death, right? But of 'cos, being blessed of a cutey little thing called love is a wonder already.

7. Are you gorgeous?
- Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder right? In my own eyes, I have plenty of upgrading to do. But of' cos, I am gorgeous alright. Ha ha. (Note: 'Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~Eleanor Roosevelt')

8. If the person you secretly like is already attached, what would you do?
- O boy. Here's the thing. I do like someone who is heavily attached and does that jeopardize our friendship? Hell no. It's my very own secret right. Secret stays you see. I guess I just have to deal with it. Real soon. Ha ha

9. What do you pray each day for your loved one?
- Be happy always. Among other things.

10. What takes you down the fastest?
- Last I checked, I was turned off by a egotistical figure. So yeah. Off you go.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?
- Maybe I have some real money(interest free) stocked away. For emergency, health-covered cases, stuffs like that. And pretty much I'd know better about how the world works.

12. What do you really want at the moment of responding to this tag?
- Honestly? Hmm. Stucked in my comfy bed, day-dreaming about dreams. (mind you am not that good with tag Qs)

13. What kind of person do you think the person who tagged you is?
- Peed? Well right now I am sure she's very very happy for she's just got engaged with her boyfriend. Sweet girl with many things planned out before her. I can't wait to see you on the pelamin la, nyah.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married but poor?
- What's the real definition of being rich or being poor for that matter? For me, of 'cos being able to stand up for your wants and needs is more important. No matter whether you're single or married.

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?
- Grab my phone/watch to look at the time.

16. What’s the character must have in your partner?
- Gees. There are many characters that I look for in a mate. But first and foremost would be; He can get along with my parents. I'm the only child so, go figure.

17. If you fall in love with two people simultaneously, who would you pick?
- Hmm. Let see. Maybe I'll jump into question number 16. You knoe, like comparing which one is better off when we leave him talking and yakking with the elders. Any orang tua that is.

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing the someone has done?
- While many people claim to be able to forgive and forget, there is the one little curse which hangs over our heads called memory which constantly reminds us. It's like we want to forget, but there would always be there, clinging to us, right? So, whenever certain elements line up, of the egregiousness in question which brings back all those horrific feelings. What I am saying is that, I would forgive, but I can never forget. Ever.

19. Do you prefer being single or having a relationship?
- Well, if the relationship is a major headache, then of 'cos it's better to be totally free, with no strings attached. But don't tell anyone, maybe in some ways I do find it quite refreshing to be on our own once in a blue moon.

20. Would you leave your family behind just to chase your dreams?
- Are you kidding me? What kind of a dream that requires you to abandon love and affection? Family is everything, no matter how 'big' you are.

So there. Phew.

Saturday, December 27, 2008

Movie Review #1: The day I couldn't sit still, let alone stand

What's the title again? The day the Earth.. err what?

Read my lips. It is called The Day The Earth Stood Still. They should have renamed it tho. Maybe 'The Day You Will Waste Two Hours of Your Life' instead.

So, if you haven't watched it, please read my lips again. Please don't watch it. Please. By the way, mind you, I warn you that this entry may contain spoilers.

Let's be blunt okay; this is definitely not a good movie; it's not horrid either, it's just somewhere between average and bad. For the record (my personal record that is) that movie is the worst ever movie that I have watched all my entire life. Even that horrible Cabin Fever, the one we watched back in good ol' days in Kuantan was alot better. I didn't know they still made movies as bad as this.
Go figure.

The movie was rather abysmal for my liking. It did not live up to my hype, to my high expectation. (well, we want something that worths the money, right?)

But of 'cos, if you're a die hard fan of that dashing Keanu Reeves, maybe you should go and judge it for yourself. I've just checked the box office top 10 list and amazingly, and dimly (how in the world it happened?) stated there that this such movie is number 4, my friends.

The main reason for me to watch that movie would be Jennifer Connelly(love her eyes) and Kathy Bates. Okay okay. Keanu as well (duh.. haha). What else would you expect from a list of great actors other than 2 hours of quality-plot-packed worth of ticket buying movie?
I was hugely, hugely disappointed.

One credit though I would give to that adorable Will Jada’s kid. Maybe he shouldn't be portrayed in such way but who cares? How can he possibly be that spoiled, smart brat? It's such a crime. Really. lol

They must have realized however, that having Robert Knepper (or famously known as T-Bag) as the Colonel was bound to provoke some skepticism. I mean come on! A prominent, evil form originated from a cool series of Prison Break who raped women and boys was given the responsibility to pull the trigger in order to save the world?
I don't think so.

There were some quotes which I remembered because they were so striking and I was surprised at the values that were conveyed: Klaatu (that's Keanu's name in the movie, I had to like suppress my chuckles just listening to it) demands to speak to the world leaders and asks the Secretary of Defense of the United States, "Do you speak for the entire human race?" when she replies "I speak for the President of the United States".

I couldn't help but wonder throughout the movie: Does America speak for the human race? I think it's a highly topical issue and subtly addressed in the movie. Let's just stop here about America and their idealogy of human race and world peace.

Another scene that I couldn't forget was the description by the alien disguised as an old Chinese: "The terrible thing is they sense which direction they are going but they are doing nothing" (or something along those lines, I nearly had my eyes closed, mind you).

Rather unnecessary really. At least that's what I thought. The reason why it sticks.

Last but not least humanity was trying to fight off the alien invaders. Klaatu says it himself when the boy asks him whether he would fight or run away and he says, "There is nothing you can do". Yet it was ironic to see how people think that the means of weaponry and machines stand a chance against alien forces. Looking at all the effects makes you wonder once in awhile that humans are indeed clueless about things.

Smug indeed!

So there. The day my earth stood still indeed. Over the over-the-top green-the-world activists' campaign.

'I know, I know. We should have watched Australia instead. I know.'


Tuesday, December 23, 2008

When silence is eloquent

Because I heard someone once said if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all!

Ok, so blame it on a good Malay upbringing. Or blame it on me just being me. I always say what people want to hear. I do not want to disappoint people. I may damn well make myself miserable, but always at the expense of someone else's feelings.

Sometimes certain people can't understand why I'd rather be unheard and thought well of. I always do what's expected like a genteel lady, put a smile on my face and gracious words no matter what.

Really. It's all about giving the impression of complete control of self and situation. No big deal.

I'm not making any sense, am I? Thing is, it's close to midnight already and I can’t seem to close my eyes even though I am unbearably worn-out. An aftermath of way too many hours spent on the road since last Friday. A cool get-away tho.

Here's the thing. Twice this month I became spellbound and miraculously stood still after a confession of an unsuppressed mind. It happened again. And this time on 23rd of December 2008. Just hours ago. Gees. I was having this conflict within myself trying to come up with words. I mean come on! Am such a scoundrel when it comes to back-to-back yak but why oh why all of a sudden, that very moment I became speechless?

Tell me, if you have nothing to say but you know you should say something, what do you say?

I hereby, cringely declare that now I am putting my special thinking cap on.

Saturday, December 20, 2008

Of Love And Friendship.

I've just shed some tears. So yeah, twice this month. I came across this video and half way through, my tears were running down my cheeks. 'Cos it's simply beautiful.


Just look at the way the lion ran to the guys. How breathtakingly indescribable. Even an animal knows the meaning of love, friendship and gratitude.

One of the guys said that;

We called him and he stood up and started to walk towards us very slowly. Then, as if he had become convinced it was us, he ran towards us, threw himself on to us, knocked us over, knocked George over and hugged us, like he used to, with his paws on our shoulders.

Auww. You can read more about this incredible story here.

O boy. I'm still crying.

Friday, December 12, 2008

"Tears, Idle Tears"

I haven’t cried in some time. It’s been awhile yeah. I do know that it is good to shed some tears on occasions; however, my despair and sad feelings even wallowing in my own crapulence are pressed neatly down. Locked somewhere I guess. I am no my mom you see. She’s an ultimate drama queen. Even while watching some Malay drama once in a blue moon, just take a peek at her, and you could see tears running down her cheeks. Sob sob she goes. lol

Thing is, I know intellectually that it is not a sign of weakness if one cries. It’s just that sometimes I face intricate times bringing the tears forth.

It may be something during the course of the day, a really heart breaking scene from some award winning movie on tv or the beauty of a sunset (reminds me of that Bedazzled’s scene, remember the guy with over-sensitive issue?), that some how grounds me and tears burst forth. That seldom happens though.

Nevertheless, after midnight the day before, I shed some tears, over a Korean movie. There, I said it.

Candidly speaking, I have forgotten the overpowering, melodramatic elements of Korean movies/drama series since Winter Sonata.

But gees, this movie acted by the same woman in Winter Sonata (even tho I love the series, I couldn’t care less about their names. It will always be Jun Sang and Yoo Jin stuck somewhere in my brain). She’s good. I mean of course she’s good; she made me cried for heaven sake! Which is rare.

It’s a mawkish romance that begins with a looming tragedy, but as the flick unfolded, I could sense yet another ghastly tragedy. It was rather predictable really for I am sorta a desensitized moviegoer to appreciate some love story movies or sympathize with the characters. Only about 7 minutes before the movie ended, BAAM! she worked her magic on screen.

And believe me, after all the wiping and staring into the thin air out of nothing, I felt sheepishly girly. Like a silly sappy teenage girl. Who floundered in self-despair and negativity over lost love.


p/s: "Tears, Idle Tears" is the title of one of Alfred, Lord Tennyson's many famous poems, which is inspiring.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Mind elsewhere?

The moment of peace after waking up this morning lasted all but ten minutes. As I went into the bathroom, I recalled yesterday's blues reasserted in my head.

For the first time yesterday, my father announced that my fried rice, ‘tak sedap, tak macam selalu..’.


Not missing a beat, my mom jumped in, “Lately her mind’s elsewhere..”

Aaa? What is she talking about?

So you see, hands down I have to say I am pretty good in the kitchen(ahem). My culinary skills are rather acceptable especially by my father’s strictly-no-kedai-food tummy. Well, I do make quite a delectable spicy fried noddle, and asam pedas Johor with lots of daun kesum and simply fish curry (but of ‘cos no one can beat my mom’s spread. Ever!). And yeah I can make scrumptious puddings too. (trying to become the ultimate heir of my mom’s secret recipes)

However, yesterday was a shocker. I mean come on, it’s no biggie, just a simple dish, fresh ingredients simply thrown into the frying pan. Then walla!!

I don’t get it.

Tak sedap?

Wednesday, December 10, 2008


On the first day of Eid al-Adha, together with another two joyous, bubbly friends, we went to pay a visit at our other friend’s house. The minute I saw Sue (not her real name..he he), I was simply alarmed, seeing how frail she looked. Only last Aidilfitri we met and yakked, and boy we were so stuffed with food I thought both of us were the chubbiest charming people in the whole room at our teacher’s open house. But seeing her now, she has lost weight!

Without beating around the bush, she said it, her eyes abit puffy, “My boyfriend and I broke up.”

I remember myself sighing at that exact moment, for it was still fresh in my mind about a year ago when Sue went through the same thing, and please note, with the same guy. Only this time, he’s going out with another new girl. So there, I said it. My poor friend; got dumped over some chick. For the second time.


From the way she said it this time, there’s no way she’ll end up running into his arms again. She said she has learned to really let go, no matter how much she still loves him.

While enjoying the generous spread of Raya dishes, three of us girls listened to her rumblings. She was involved in that relationship for 6 years (phew) until that useless jerk decided to break it off. She was clearly very devastated as she had always assumed they would end up married to each other.

I can see as much as she said she is trying to get over him, she can't seem to repress the strong feelings and that I must say is tearing her apart. She skipped days of work after the breakup, and still she finds it hard to eat, sleep, even to go about her regular daily bustles. Everything reminds her of memories they shared, I mean even scratching her nose reminds her of that jerk.

Then out of nowhere, dear Tini (also not her real name) grumbled, “Just forget him, Sue. There’s no use of thinking about him anymore. I mean, we should know when to leave things the way they should be, especially when he’s the one saying bye.”

Fiera (bukan nama sebenar) and I were looking at each other, giving the ‘look’ as a signal of ‘geez Tini, give her a break”. Eventhough I myself do believe that it’s a closed case, when your supposedly spouse dumped you. But maybe there's a hidden story behind it all. Who knows?

Sue didn’t flinch though thank God. She heaved an elaborated sigh and whispered, “Trust me, I’m trying.”

I mean I know for a fact that it is never easy when a relationship ends. The memories are still fresh, the thoughts and feelings are all still there and then there’s the problem of "I hate him-no-I want him back" to deal with. How you choose to handle it is up to you, but it’s not going to be easy no matter what. Still, how well you rebound can be determined by what path you choose to take. Right?

Yeah, I know it’s easy said than done. Make no mistake about it; getting dumped is awful. I mean come on, you invest weeks, months, or even years with someone – then that someone decides that he’d or she’d be better off without you. Suddenly, there’s a hole, a big gap in your life where a significant other used to be. Nights, weekends, holidays, everything takes on a new shade when you’re flying solo.

And while it’s tempting to wallow in misery, keep the points below in mind, still sooner or later you will realize that it’s not that bad. Maybe just maybe something/someone better is waiting there.

Maybe not some over the top portrayal of dashing knight with shining armor riding a helluva hot white horse, but still.

It’s never wrong to dream, and to always keep your options wide open.

And that’s what I told her the day I sent her off at the bus station the next day. I wish for her happiness to soon greet her again.

Boy she looks smokin’ hot now she’s lost more than 5 kilos, only less than a month! Her ex would be eating his heart out soon. Trust me. And maybe he’d be kneeling on his knees begging and pleading for Sue to take him back?

Sweet revenge, ey?

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Kenapa, Mengapa & Sebab apa

Dear Diary,

I wish you know how much I've missed telling you stuffs. And bitchin' about some morons. And reminiscing the joy I had as a teen with skeletons in different closets. It's been a while, uh?

I need to tell you this for I'm afraid that I'd forget whatever happened earlier today. Other than that horrible incident in Bukit Antarabangsa. God bless them.

'Kenapa, mengapa dan sebab apa'.

I bet everyone would say that those three things practically mean the same. Except for one person.

And right now, I'm still in some kind of shock after a revelation of something that I have never expected in my entire life.

I know I am not making any sense, trust me I know but I need to let it off my chest. I need to not forget today. 6th of December 2008. Guess I need some closure within myself, a soul-diggin system as a means to remind me that we are exposed to any forms of emotional-tangled web, whether we like it or not.

Whether it's between you and someone you have known all your freakin' life.

O boy.

'Til next time.

Friday, December 5, 2008

A Guardian from Above

This morning, while going through bundles of files/folders in my room, I caught a glimpse of something long forgotten yet so familiar. I picked this one thin clear paper holder and there it was; a newspaper article of one extraordinary person who got excellent PMR result whilst fighting for his life.

In no time at all, I was taken down memory lane, and here I am, typing away.

I've noticed how the sound of a ringin phone sometimes triggers my bewildered memory as if at once, I'm sucked into the time zone and land fiercely bum-first thinking, dwelling and thinking about things in the past.

I can’t remember accurately the date of the incident but, it was the day when my mother and I were preparing dishes for tomorrow’s ‘sahur’, first of Ramadan, 1999. The phone rang and it was Kak Rashidah, my best friend’s big sister whom I used to be so scared to be around with. She had such a reserved look with an invisible billboard on her forehead stated “Don’t mess with me” and an additional big mole next to her right brow definitely completed the whole package.

It was then an extreme surprise to having her calling me, but the very minute I heard her voice; I knew something wrong had happened to Afifi.

This entry shall be all about him.

Afifi and I were close friends since Standard Six and the fact that we didn’t share any biological gender similarities was out of the question. I did have many girlfriends, but truth to be told, having a male species as a close friend is a lot easier. I am hugely ecstatic to say that I was pompous to be around him.

Bill Gates was not in our vocabulary, but if it did exist back then, Afifi would suit the profile. He had this thick black rimmed spectacle that he wore in class because he was a short-sighted which sometimes hung low on top of his sharp nose. Even though most of the time he was a neat freak, but when in class, his thick black hair was a mass of messy bundle twigs. He along with another friend of mine, Cheok, used to be punished by the teachers because most of the time they would be engrossed in chess despite of having to complete mathematic questions or writing an essay.

More than twice his set of chess was taken away by Mr. Sheikh, our class teacher but did he stop? No way. He was too good in chess as well in his studies, so the teachers had to have their eyes blindfolded.

By the end of 1994, both of us received flying colors in our UPSR examination and were then accepted to different boarding schools. I had ripples in my stomach knowing that we hardly had an opportunity to meet up as often as we liked because his father was transferred to another state and his new school was hundreds of kilometers from mine. However, regardless of the distance and all, our friendship kept blossoming along with the telephone bills.

Distance is indeed an enemy in a relationship.

Some say that life is cruel and unfair, and that was what in my mind when I found out one day in 1997 from a friend of mine that Afifi was diagnosed with leukemia!

Just imagine, Leukemia. The L word.

I was totally shocked and recalled the way he comforted me when I called him right away after the news saying that he being sick was fated and no one could do anything. I was frantic in the phone slightly blaming him of not telling me about his bad health. I know, I know, I was abit stupid at the time, largely thinking only about myself, of how hurt I was not being informed sooner than later.

The very minute the school holiday started, I rode a bus and headed to his new house to visit.The first time I laid eyes on him after three years, I had to recuperate myself and be totally in control in favor of not disappointing him in what ever reason.

Obviously he knew that I was going to be shocked, seeing him totally different. Leukemia had changed him tremendously. His big frame had shrunk, his shoulder blades were showing and staring at them, I thought of pouring water onto the deep curves. He has turned into a skinny boy with huge head hanging above his frail body.

He was chirpy and clearly happy to see me but I nearly wept seeing the black spots under his eyes and also those purplish needles’ marks on both of his arms. He must have suffered so badly!

Did he show any sign of pain in front of me? Nope. Not once he whined. Instead of succumbing to any stories of his series of radiation and medication, he showed me newspapers cuttings covering about his success in PMR.

One of the headlines, “Leukemia boy achieved 9As on hospital bed” and he was potrayed mostly in all major newspapers. He later had it all photocopied and sent it to me, the one I still have until now.

That day, he also cracked a joke about how he did better than I even though he took the exam in hospital.

Leukemia is not only a foe, but also a determiner in creating a very tough, positive minded human being which had accept his fate and believed that God had installed the best for him ‘up there’. I remembered how I kept blinking my teary eyes watching him animatedly telling about how he missed school and simply missed the ordinary life that he once faced without pain and difficulties.

His expression precisely at that moment is what I have whenever I think of him.

After the shocking phone call from Afifi’s sister, I hastily ran to my room with my mother worriedly tailing after me asking what happened. I managed to mutter “Afifi’s gone” I think.

Thing is, that call from Kak Rashidah transmitted the end of his misery. I was crestfallen but I knew God loves him alot more.

I couldn’t stop crying, thinking how he had lead his life in pain and torture, and how he easily smiled and shrugged saying that it was all part of Allah’s test upon him. That was exactly Afifi I knew. He was a time-resistant proof that no matter what the circumstances, you have to hold your head high and face the world the best you can.

I learn that from him. One who was a down to earth psyche yet taught me so much. Taught me to appreciate life and be strong even though life betrays you.

Oh well. He is by His side now. There's nothing more to worry about.

May he rest in peace. Amin.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Simple lessons in life.

Phew.. now I'm back to being fully myself again. Or so I think. lol. Life was kind of a bumpy, convoluted and fun all together ride for me since last Monday. Things that happened in some ways taught me something raw and totally memorable that I am bloody sure I'd cherish 'til the day I die. (or 'til I bump into another bigger-than-life rapturous ride of all time)

So basically I survived. Yay!

I want to share some pretty useful life lessons that my good friend sent me through email. I was in a distorted, messy condition when he called from KS and next thing I knew, he sent me this;

Simple Life Lessons:

1. Accept that some days you're the pigeon, and some days you're the statue. (to be pooped on I guess)

2. Always keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them. (yeap, I've noticed some guy who called bloggers "monkeys" and then finally became one himself..oops)

3. Always read stuff that will make you look good if you die in the middle of it.

4. Drive carefully -- it's not only cars that can be recalled by their Maker.

5. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague. (I'm guilty as charged)

6. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.

7. It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

8. Never buy a car you can't push. (btw, I had my car trapped in the flood phenomenon that day. I'll write a post on that one fine day)

9. Never put both feet in your mouth at the same time, because then you won't have a leg to stand on.

10. Nobody cares if you can't dance well. Just get up and dance. (I did represent my school for a traditional dance competition long time ago. shhh..don't tell anyone)

11. Since it's the early worm that gets eaten by the bird, sleep late.

12. The second mouse gets the cheese.

13. When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. (This could be the reason why some people we know lost votes after having too many things coming their way)

14. Birthdays are good for you. The more you have, the longer you live.

15. You may be the only one person in the world, but you may also be the world to one person. (so shwweeett..makes me wonder..)

16. Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once

17. We could learn a lot from crayons. Some are sharp, some are pretty and some are dull. Some have weird names and all are different colors, but they all have to live in the same box . (wow. way deep man, way deep)

18. A truly happy person is one who can enjoy the scenery on a detour. (I'm trying here, gimme a break..lol)

It did make me feel good reading these simple life lessons that I finally understand that life has so much more to offer.

To everyone.