Kenapa, Mengapa & Sebab Apa: A year ago today.

@ Ri-Yaz Heritage Resort & Spa on the 12th of Nov 2008, 1.44 pm. Gotcha!

Everyone has flaws. Deal with it.

I believe I, like most of us, have pretty high expectations of the people I intermingle with. Since yesteryears, I've built up this framework of decrees and morals that I expect them to follow, because those are the matters I myself try to follow.

But I think this is so naive. So so unbelievably raw. ‘Cos most people just do whatever the heck they want.

And if my interests, my stands happen to conflict with theirs ... well too bad for me. This seems to be the case even if they're people who appear to really like me and show loyalty.

People, whether they’re work colleagues, buddies, your loved ones; they choose to be egocentric. Being totally unacquainted of other people’s feelings as long as theirs are protected.

So I guess it’s crystal clear that the people we share things or ideology or emotion or anything for that matter with aren't angels or whatever close to being angels. They're not born particularly good or noble. Far from it. I've learned that now.

They're all flawed to some extent, just like you and me.

Everyone is. Period.

Just deal with it.

Kompang is back!

It's starting again. Yeap. It feels like just weeks ago I talked about kompangs. The buzz of people walking down the aisle. Or grinning with overly-done batting mascaraed eyelashes on the pelamin. Stealing glances at the same time. Ha ha.

Cards are starting to hit the mailbox. And gees.. invitation cards nowadays are very creative-looking and come in many forms and shapes.

Friends have started making plans to meet up and get together during the occasions and that’s what I am looking forward to for as much as we want to deny it, trying to simply hang out with far away buddies for leisure is quite a hassle. So, weddings would be a place, if not others to chill and laugh and of course, to gossip (badmouthing about people we despise or in rare cases people we envy. Auw)

The thing is about weddings, people would start asking you questions. You know.. ‘d’ question. Still don’t get it? Okay maybe I should shed some light:

"Hah Suria. Minah A dah nak kawen.. ko bile lagik? Sian parents ko..”

“Mamat B ada sms you mintak address? Sapa sangka kan he would be next. Such a player finally agreed to get the strings attached. You bila? Tak elok tao bercinta lama-lama..”

"Dah dapat kad Minah C? Cantik kan. Unik. When will I get yours?"

"Dengaq cita hang dah nak buat kendurik. Bulan berapa? Aku nak kena ambik cuti awai ni" (a case of fishin' in the dark)

Such melodies to my ears.

A mull over. Over stuffs.

October has passed by. I must say that the month was kinda full with surprises. Physically and psychologically speaking. No wonder Awie could come up with the song ‘Tragedi Oktober’. It makes sense. I had my ups and downs. I’ve learned quite a lot last month. So I guess I’ve grown to be abit more mature in a sense that I now understand the depth of taking things for granted.

*glancing around, making sure nobody’s looking at my direction and I look very professional at this very minute

I’m in an elaborated meeting at the moment. A briefing on some matters as we’re in exam mode and there are so many things to be done. Seriously, I am focusing on the ramblings here and there, but at the same time my fingers are moving. Again, like I said, trying to look very professional. Lol.

I’ve been grinning from ear to ear since this morning. It’s all because I’ve completed my term paper (finally!) and the whole thing is flying away by the help of our Pos Malaysia, ready to be received by our dear Professor Dr. Fattawi. Yeay!

Okay. So maybe I still have plenty more to do and this time around I’d be focusing on Dr. Aziah’s papers but come on, give me some hours to feel real good about myself.

Even just for a while.

Earlier we talked about war. One of my friends was lucky enough to go to the War Criminal Conference and Exhibition at PWTC last Thursday. The conference was held from 28^th to 31^st October 2009.

It is pretty much a Tun Mahathir’s thing. I remember the morning of the 29^th Oct as I was preparing myself for work, Ally Iskandar of Malaysia Hari Ini was chatting away at the PWTC, showing and demonstrating the brutal treatments received by the inmates of Guantanamo prison.

I was glued to the screen with water still dripping down my hair as I gulped and clinched watching the abuse in each different cell temporarily built in the compound of PWTC. Blood was everywhere. And the screaming and moaning of the victims of torture still haunted me. They had these audio and video of the real torture and I could see the convention representative had tears in her eyes as Ally interviewed her. Just imagine. She must have explained and talked about this war matters for hundreds of times yet it still hurts and breaks her heart.

No wonder my friend said it was a horrid thing. Witnessing and being so close to the made-up scenes.

Check out http://www.criminalisewar.org/.

I better go. I think with me typing away annoyed someone here. Haha.

My heart weeps..

My fingers, the ones using the mouse and on top of the keyboard froze the moment I opened my inbox. ‘Friendster Reminder – Farhani Adlin’s Birthday is Coming Up’ email really left me breathless.

Farhani Adlin passed away years ago. Succumbed to cancer. I could still see her smile. Oh yea, she loved to smile. And she loved to laugh too. She was a bubbly girl. We were good friends back in MRSM and all would agree that with her leaving the world about a year after SPM, left a hole in our hearts.

Her story was a devastating one. Her mother died because of cancer too when Fanny was younger and I remember we all broke down into tears when we found out that when Fanny was sick in the hospital, she was actually bedridden on the same bed as her late mother.

Just imagine how her father felt.

I can’t say more.

May Allah SWT bless her soul. Al-Fatihah.

In love.

I found her by accident. After a few hours working on the term paper (you're this close to seeing stars rotating above my head), I browsed the Internet and innocently clicked on an episode of Ellen’s show with a 6 year old guest, named Emily. Before I continue yapping about her, brace yourself and listen up to one of the most beautiful melodies ever (at least to me).



Emily Bear. She composed that Ellen’s song herself. Can you believe it? In 10 minutes. Yeap. I had a few moments of denial am tellin’ you for she was so young. I mean, what could you really do when you were 6? And yeah, climbing a tree and then fell off breaking your arms or building a sand castle doesn't count.

She steals my heart and that comes out of a shock to me too ‘cos (glancing around) I don’t usually find kids adorable. Okay maybe sometimes but not most of the times. Yet. Seeing her magical lil fingers move, a really unexpected thought of having a kid that can play like her came to mind. Yikes.

As I was saying, Ellen’s song is simply the bomb. Ellen Degeneres was lucky to have a kid that young creating such a beautiful melody for her. I am still playing the tune over and over again. Am so in love with it.

Okay just check out this another clip of her being interviewed by some tv station and you get to know her origin, family. And also, she started hitting the piano notes when she was 2yo. Yes.. 2!!



That reminds me of another talented old woman..err pardon me, talented woman with a gold heart, Susan Boyle who sings beautifully that managed to keep prick Simon Cowell's mouth shut the moment she opened her own mouth.

Just imagine, there are so many talented, special people out there. I mean of course it doesn't have to be related to musics only. You can be totally clueless about music, about art, or sports, or maths or anything.. yet you're still special. In your own way.

Each person is wonderfully special. That's why I never make comparison. Some people tend to do that. Perhaps they can't help it.

Personally for me, it is never a fair deal to compare someone to someone else. It doesn't work that way. 'Cos I always believe that everyone is different and special and has their own way of carrying themselves.

No matter who you are. Or what you have become.

A sad truth.

'There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.'

~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox

Before the deadline.

I've managed to come up with some words, yet it is so so far from the finish line. And do I have to keep reminding myself that I have 4 more to go? Arrgh!