I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart. ~ Albany Bach Reid

Monday, February 23, 2009

So what

I’ve learned something new today;

Some people can’t stand happy people.

Maybe it’s jealousy. Maybe it’s detestation, I don’t know. What I’ve been informed is that, some people don’t feel good about themselves when they come across happy jolly people.


It is such a shame. Their loss. Big time.

I mean, we should be surrounded by happy, positive-minded people most of the time right, in order to live life and maybe at least feel good about ourselves.

That simple.

But you see, that’s life. We can never be sure we can avoid bumping or making friends with these people who might be suffering (who knows right) from depression where they are pretty much resentful and a little jealous seeing other people have abit of fun and be happy.

So what if lately I look all glowy and radiant and in high spirit?


So what..?!

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Innocent thought floats to the surface

Check out the music video. Listen to the melody. The very first time I heard the song, I thought to myself that 'Wow..this song is surely one of the hottest songs at the moment'. Most of the time a certain particular song that I heard for the first time was already a stale cookie for others 'cos I rather have the tendency of getting the hip song a few weeks too late. Yeah. Gees.


So, it's true right. Cool melody that tugs at your heart. By why o why it's not a number one hit? Is it because of the lyric? For it reminds us mortals of the sins that we've commited?

I don't get it. Okay, here's the thing. Let say the lyric is rather very dreamy-like, romantic messages from a lover to another, I bet it's gonna be so freakin' hot to the teens, right.

I mean, I am sure most of the people around Malaysia and of 'cos Indonesia know this next song. It is so unbelievably famous that even small kids who don't even know the meaning of 'kekasih' memorise the song (Ask me I knoe. 'cos this 5yo kid of my cousin kept singin' and groovin' to it).

Okay. So, just imagine a different type of lyric/sentences attached together with the same tune/melody, maybe from this heart-wrenching, hopelessly lovely, dark messages of love to ..I dunno, to a rather spiritual, religion-related-I ask for Your forgiveness kinda lyric.

Think it's gonna be as huge as it was?


Monday, February 16, 2009

Movie Review #4: Ong Bak 2

I wanted to watch Brad Pitt, but instead we were standing goggled-eyed staring up at the screen, stuck with Sifu & Tongga, Naan Kadavul, Wall-E and Ong Bak 2.

I’ve watched Wall-E so that one was out. He ached for Naan Kadavul (haha) but maybe some other time? So it was either Sifu & Tongga or Ong Bak 2. Blurgh. I assure you it was an easy decision-making less than 3.5 seconds. I wasn’t in the mood for action-packed plots but the hell..Sifu & Tongga? Geez.

Ong Bak 2 simply tells a simple revenge story. Orphaned by a mutiny in a fifteenth century rural Thai village, Tien played by the master of martial art Tony Jaa, is adopted by a pirate ringleader and trained in the arts of fighting of multiple disciplines.

I have to let you guys know that this ringleader, this bandit king, Chemang looks so much like M. Nasir, man. The moustache, the deep-eye piercing look, the long hair. I have to say he has the most interesting character I guess in this movie. So, after Tien’s sacrament of passage, he sets out to find his parents’ murderer and avenge their deaths.

Pretty much a stereotyped one.

Actually, for me I think Ong Bak 2 is a complete train wreck of a film. Jaa’s character stalks through the mud and rain like a deranged psychotic creepy guy. In this movie you get to see him tearing a path through an endless stream of serious case of revenge, hysterical adversaries with little sense of motivation beyond blind rage.

After 30 minutes, I thought to myself, ‘Mamat ni tak penat eh..asyik fight je…’ Lol.

Beyond the casting of its lead character, Tony Jaa, the film has nothing whatsoever to do with the original Ong-Bak, and is in fact this one is set 600 years previous to the events of that first film. In truth it does feature a plethora of fighting styles and numerous opportunities for Jaa to show them off, but the film lacks.. er.. so much.

Yes, this movie is all about Tony Jaa. So you can just forget about feeling sorry for the other characters, like Chernang a.k.a M. Nasir lookalike who since the beginning of the story managed a lil scored, at least to me. The ending maybe left me hanging and we were abit confused whether it IS how it supposed to end or if there will be another "Ong Bak",

Sadly, the film fails to inspire any sense of excitement in its audience, nor curiosity to know what will happen next. Mind you, I fell asleep for 5 minutes. And yeah, twice.

However, like always, Tony Jaa’s fighting skills are extraordinary. Pergh..all the flying all around, running and climbing on the back of running jumbos, it was superb. Well, although at first I had no clue why he has to look so damn pissed all the time, I couldn’t tear my eyes away from him as he executes a plethora of fighting styles and performs impossible feats of agility.

And I love the cinematography. The scenes are breathtaking ‘cos the film was shot in the jungle, so you rather treat your eyes to the beauty of greens and wild life.

The movie doesn’t rock my boat, but Tony Jaa does.

So, if you’re looking for some serious jaw-breaking, spine-cracking, twisted neck fight scenes (endless too I have to say), this is the right one. I mean come on, let’s face it, I feel like Tony Jaa can crack my skull open just with his little pinky finger. Yours too.


Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Let bygones be bygones..

Dear Diary,

Something has been bugging me for awhile. Some wise man quoted that ‘let bygones be bygones’. It’s applicable, right?

What I am trying to say is that since something/anything has already happened, there is no need to worry or maybe bring to a halt over it.

Forgive and forget, or forget and repeat the forgetting is the central theme in such an initiative. I believe it can be done. Maybe it’s not a piece of cake but still.

Thing is, the entire subject of past episodes hinges upon one thing; memories. Simply memories. I mean we all do have a bundle of memories tucked nicely at the back our mind right. Sweet memories, sad memories.. everything ‘cos people remember the events of a life that, in the memory, occurred at some point in the past.

That’s all.

Blurgh. Just reminiscing the certain days I had gone throughout the past several years, I was so darn impetuous. It was a bad idea to have wasted so much of my thinking about my life past lives.


It's the experiences and memories of my past that have shaped me to become what I am today, yes?

I fell in. I fell out. I ached. I cried. Over stuffs. Over unexpected series of events.


That was THEN. That’s all in the PAST.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Music to my ears

At least for the time being.

Monday, February 9, 2009

And still they rise..

“Brick walls are there for a reason. They are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” – Randy Pausch (The Last Lecture)

Smart words, ey? From a man who once faced so much in life.

Sometimes, I have just one goal at a time and I am focused fully on that one goal, taking small baby steps, trying to put my whole effort accomplishing that one goal.

Then all of a sudden, out of the blue, there’s some crisis in another part of my life; like maybe 1. my newly-appointed dashing second boss will become enormously demanding (no matter how good he looks that day, he annoys me at the time), or 2. my mother suddenly has trouble breathing ‘cos there’s so much pressure (don’t worry babes, the pressure really mostly about needing to balik kampung to Kuala Kangsar..he he), or 3. my father decides that there is an emergency that I have to handle pronto!

So this happens with such frequency, it’s almost predictable and rather nerve-wrecking, every time I start really buckling down on what I need to do to bring about my certain need. I hate that.

And trust me, when brick walls start to recur, I start to wallow in my own crapulence.

Then when I thoroughly demoralized, and lying around unmotivated, everything else in my life seems to calm down, and I’m just left wondering how to pick myself up again.

Whether I want to give it another try.

So there. Let me list here two rather common situations where these people have to deal with challenges:


Scenario 1:

This one guy, he was determined to quit smoking, and he admitted that way before this, he has had several failures. But each time, he asked himself what he did wrong. I mean, he asked things like ‘What actually derailed me?’ questions. And later, he incorporated those obstacles into his plan.

The common ones that led to a relapse in his smoking include stressful events (like when some girl does her unintended blunder. Yikes), going out with friends that are mostly heavy smokers, and sometimes stressful family events. Eventually, he succeeded, at least for 1 month and a half now I believe, but I really think that he wouldn’t have done so if he just kept letting the same obstacles upset him.


Scenario 2:

Love sometimes can be quite complicated. They say that opposites attract. So I’ve heard.

Subsequently, what really happens to love faced with obstacles of dissimilar backgrounds, or maybe different belief systems or even geographical distance? (Been there, done that..he he)

This reminds me of my dear friend, Pau (not a real name. hehe. *Don’t kill me Pau. Please..) She has gone through so much just in the name of love. I mean not just ordinary kind of brick walls, you know. That’s all I can say. (Takot!)

Does it give us some sort of a signal impending doom of a lasting relationship? I mean, can we really tell whether we can sort this thing out. It’s like ‘Don’t worry. We’ll face this together.’ We have to set in our minds that things/problems happen for a reason. As long as we have mutual interest and both hearts are properly nourished, any sort of mind-blowing brick wall is just a piece of cake.


But really. What I tend to remind myself is that, whenever we’re in trouble, or facing yet another impediment, which is rather continuously there (like having this really annoying mosquito that always comes back torturing, no matter how good the aerosol is), other people actually are dealing with bigger problem. A whole bigger, more complicated problem.

Thing is, challenges would always be there; at the beginning, in getting started, obstacles midway. There are always obstacles at each phase of our lives. I mean, of ‘cos we should really instill good positive mindsets all the time, but really. Face it. Troubles lurk all the time. They make us a better person.

Or not?

Life is hard, we all know this, but for every jolt, every pothole, every blindside, there is someone falling in love, there is some stupid sitcom that makes you laugh your **s off despite yourself, and there are children playing happily.

Life is just… err… life.

Friday, February 6, 2009

Wise Man : Part 7 'Theory of Emotion'

Me : I wonder, what is it about people that causes us to miss someone?

WM : Uh?

Me : (blush) You know, like why do we miss someone?

WM : That’s what people do, you punk.

Me : And that’s very common, yes?

WM : Yeah. I guess.

Me : Why is that? Is there any psychological explanation on it?

WM : (shrugs) I believe, in the first place, we miss people that we care about. And we miss them because we incorporate them into our emotional inner landscape. You know, as a part of ourselves and therefore we would feel a loss when they are not present.

Me : I see.

WM : You know what. We could really have spared this conversation if you just came clean and told me straight away that you’ve missed me, babe.

Me : (sticking my tongue out) In your dream, tough guy. In your damn freakin’ dream.

WM : (rolling on the floor) ..........

Thursday, February 5, 2009

Movie review #3: Mamma Mia!The Movie

I know this movie is last year’s production, and I wanted so bad to watch it when it came out, but didn’t get the chance. So yeah, after half a year later, here I am, typing away on MAMMA MIA! The Movie. I know, I know. I am abit, err no..soooo left behind here, right. So be it. Ha ha.

‘Honey honey how he thrills me…ah hah

The way that you kiss good night, the way that you hold me tight…

And the way you do your…thing!...

Honey honey… don’t conceal it… ah hah!’

Only after about 3 minutes, I started singing (thanks for the subtitle/lyric on the bottom), moving my head to the beat. I couldn’t stop. I sang them all even some that I’m not so used to hearing to before this, like ‘Chiquitita you and I crrrryyyy…sing a new song..’ and ‘Lay all your love on me, don’t go wasting your emotion..’

So, if you just want to have fun and enjoy great music and be grandly entertained without having to think about what the movie means, Mamma Mia! The Movie is the right one for you. The movie follows the stage musical closely, but it brings you more visually because of all the resources there are in movies.

It was so refreshing to see a movie that while it centered around a rather adventurous woman's past, it entertained beautifully with no profanity, no one getting shot, cut, abused or bleeding (unless you count the cut Sophie got while shaving her legs), no guns, no car chases, no sex scenes, no nudity. So I guess quite mediocre to some. It is just a wonderful, clean fun movie. It was wonderful.

I laughed. I got misty eyed. I smiled a lot. And I felt happy.

Some of my friends know that I love Collin Firth. But gees, he sounds..how should I say it, rather not bad I guess in this movie. Not his thing though. But it’s okay, I forgive him this time around. Lol. Thankfully, he together with dashing Pierce Brosnan and another guy acted with one of the most inexhaustibly talented actresses working today (or ever, really), my favourite, Meryl Streep. Streep is Donna who is so wholly fleshed-out and so wonderfully, keenly, authentically realized that while you’re perfectly aware that it’s Meryl Streep playing the part, you won’t even recognize her in it.

And although the movie is packed with passable to delightful musical numbers of various sizes and scopes, when Donna sings “Winner Takes It All” in what is practically a single take on the top of a hill, I dare you not to get goosebumps. But one thing for sure, she can sing! And her two close, matured girlfriends are so funny I couldn’t stop chuckling.

The moment they opened their mouth singing;

‘Super Trouper lights are gonna find me, but I won’t feel blue,like I always do

Cause somewhere in the crowd there’s you…

Tonight the Super Trouper beams are gonna blind me, shining like a sun..

Smiling having fun..Feeling like a number one..’

..... I sang together with them like a silly loony. Ha ha.

Really, though, Mamma Mia isn’t a movie to be taken seriously anyway. It’s some escapist fun with great actors, beautiful scenery, and bubbly-fun music. A total freedom from the crazy world for awhile.

To me, it's a soft funny movie. It may not be a hooray teenager love story, but overall it brought a beautiful story for us. If you heard the lyrics from ABBA, you should soon realize that Mamma Mia! The movie is not about just love, but more likely it's about passion and honesty between you and your loved one.

Frankly, half the songs didn't even fit the so called plots, but who cares, right. All I know I had so much fun watching them singing and dancing. Even hours after watching it, the music was still going through my head, and I kept on smiling all throughout the night. Visually, musically and artistically I assure you that this is one movie that I will enjoy seeing again and again.

‘Anybody could be that guy… Night is young and the music’s hiiiigh…

With a bit of rock music,everything is fine..

You’re in the mood to daaaance… (yeah that’s me..go Suria..go Suria…)

And when you get the chance… You are the Dancing Queen, young and sweet..

Only seventeeeeeen….(yeah sure…)

Dancing Queen…feel the beat from the tambourine oh yeaaaaah….!’

I can go on like this all night long, you know.. he he..and louder too. Yeah!

p/s: Actually the very moment I’m finishing typing this entry, I’m watching it again for the.. er..third time (a serious case of boredom and lack of DVDs). I need to sing. Well the truth is, I need to let it all out. That’s all.

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Never make a decision before you really have to

‘To go or not to go.’

‘Just do it, or hell no, don’t do it.’

‘Stay with him, or run for your life.’

So there. We tend to make decisions every day and I’ve noticed all along that everything we say and do is the result of a decision, whether we make it consciously or not. For every choice, big or small, there's no easy formula for making the right decision. That’s much is true. ‘Cos I know it’s not easy.

Pretty serious stuff here, y’all. So bear with me for awhile.

We happen to be making choices in our daily life. Whether we want to be abit more well to do, to have a better relationship, to be healthy or smart, to have a new car or a new bike, thing is our very first step is to decide that this is what we really want.

I’ve gone through so many episodes where I had to take my time, quietly slouching at a corner on my bed, reviewing the options that I had at the moment. It takes time to decide. Always.

So you see, when somebody asks me to make a decision about a situation, about something, anything, I don't usually straight away offer a clarification, or say anything but instead, I ask questions; What are our options? Tell me the good things, tell me the bad things, give me the pretty, give me the ugly, give me the impossible, give me the possible, list me the convenient outcomes, list me the inconvenient outcomes.

Give me the options. All I want are options. And once I have all the options before me, then I would comfortably and confidently make my decision. But like I said earlier, it always takes some time.

If we really put our mind into it, our decisions are the only things we are truly accountable for in our life. Everything we say or do is a result of a decision we have made. Or will make.

Geez. Easier said than done, uh?

That reminds me. I have a dear friend who’s currently rethinking of the way his life turns out to be where it’s quite different (or must I say, very different?) from the way he wished it would be. He has worked for 4 solid years, and he thinks it’s not taking him any further, which is something he loathes so bad.

Then, BAM! out of the blue (well not really, he applied for it about thousand years ago), he got this offer, a really cool job offer which calls for his service at a faraway country. Which will grant him awfully lots of money. A job offer that he’s been waiting for all his freakin’ life. But did he say ‘YES! I’d do it!’ straight away when he was told about it? Hell no. ‘Cos he knows making a certain decision, is a life changing decision. A total change!

A transformation.

If we want something more in our life, we have to make a decision. Whether we like it or not. And for me, it is quite scary and the whole process demands our consideration and judgement, in every way.

One thing I know, decision making is an emotional event. It can make us feel like we’re all over the place. Emotions can sometimes bog us down and cloud our ability to make good decisions. Let me be honest here for once. I admit I’ve done some of the things which I regretted all my life, which I know if I did or chose the other route, or the other way round, my life would be in a better form, or happier.

Every now and then, if I stop and stare and look back on some of the biggest moments in my life that went wrong, I tend to realize that my biggest regrets come from faulty decision making.

Perhaps back then, I went with my very own gut instinct, thinking I knew how the world wags its invisible magic stick when making a decision or I just let myself be swayed by others. (once in awhile jadi lalang la lebih kurang.. ha ha)

The problem is that, sometimes I may think that a change will make everything go back to being okay. Or at least better. Or make me feel a lot happier than before.

But then again. That’s the beauty of life. We can never be sure of the outcomes of things we opt to choose.


P/s: I put up Scrat from Ice Age at someone’s request. I mean, it relates to the whole entry, you see. A ridiculous, annoying squirrel that has been trying to treasure his possession would do anything, even against his will to hide it. Up until now, as he still tries to keep it, he has caused an avalanche, and also got struck by lightning and many more to come right. But that’s his decision, to keep trying to bury his acorn. He never backs down. So there. Make a decision and stick to it.

Monday, February 2, 2009

Lighten up, please.

I’ve been trying to remember to smile in odd moments.

At first I felt a bit silly as I walked along with a smile on my face, but I quickly realized that no one minds if you’re looking happy. What you feel inside matters a lot more. I try to smile whenever I interact with someone, like bumping into someone I’ve never seen before along the corridor, queuing up after looong minutes waiting at the ATM, or even going through scary looking security guards before going up to an office, things like that.

Smile and try to be happy.

Okay. Let me give you an example. Imagine yourself in the grocery store. Wandering around to anywhere you wish in a pure state of happiness. Touching all the products on the shelves as if it were the first time you saw these items. Screaming (okay maybe not screaming but maybe a little shrieking yelp?) with joy as you picked up a very yummy looking apple, pressing it up to your nose and inhaling the sweet smell, then rubbing the apple against your face. Looking up at the other shoppers with your eyes wide open, laughing out loud in pure excitement. One of the other shoppers may give you the ‘look’. Another shopper may be wondering why you are off your medication. Ha ha. You would be viewed as being a lil bit wacko.

But who cares, right?

Being happy and cracking up a smile are interconnected.

I think, it’s also all about facial expressions. Facial expressions don’t merely reflect emotions, they also affect emotions. You have to agree that the mere act of smiling makes people feel happier—even when they smile mechanically, as I’m doing, or when they’re asked not to “smile” but rather to contract specific facial muscles.

Random smiling is an example of my simple resolution of feeling good with myself while others may think that feelings inspire actions, in fact, actions also inspire feelings. So by acting happier, I should feel happier. And you know what, I think I do. Dig me, ya'll?

Also, because of emotional contagion, people often mimic the faces of people they see. I’ve definitely noticed that people are much more likely to smile back at me when I’m smiling. Maybe because they feel they are in a way, forced to smile back, but still, they SMILE, right?

I assure you, right this very moment, even though I feel a little bit out of the place (trying to figure out what to do with schedule+assigments+stuffs), I insist on smiling and feel good about things. Because, again I do believe by trying to be pleased and happy with myself, I will tend to actually really feel happy. Am I making any sense?

It’s all in your mind, babe. So smile!