I think about you constantly, whether it's with my mind or my heart. ~ Albany Bach Reid

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The only one: A privilege?

Earlier during the day, after I fruitfully paid my rather torturous duty as the mistress of ceremony (is there such term?), someone asked me about me in general and the moment she found out that I am the only child in the family, she had this look on her face, the one that reflected either ‘aaah..no wonder you quite manja..’ or ‘bet you never experience any difficulties throughout your life so you won’t understand my life’ kinda deal.

I get that a lot.

Actually, it is common for people to assume that an only child is sure to be hopelessly spoilt. I even once heard that some people who called themselves experts in things like this claimed that single child likely to be more aggressive, selfish ( maybe ‘cos we don’t have to go through over those silly fight over who gets to use the bathroom first, or who gets the bigger drumstick etc), socially inept, less successful in marriage (rather biased opinion for they think we are incapable of managing many heads in one room) , and so on.

So fictitious. But geez..people can say anything the like, right.

All my life I’ve been told that I am such a lucky girl for being the only child in the family. Not having to share anything, I mean anything, from clothes, books, toys and hell even love from my parents. The gem of the family. The light. The apple of my parents’ eyes.. (yeah am trying not to go overboard here..lol)

When I was small, people kept asking me if I wanted a little brother or a sister (I always think that people simply jealous of my single state..hehe).
I used to get all confused thinking of why should I have a sibling when I didn’t see any point in having any.My mom wanted to adopt a kid once, when I was in primary school, trying to take care of one Bosnian child but geez… if she really thought I’d let her do that, just don’t you ever call me Suria. Lol

Okay I want to tell something but just don’t tell anyone. This is going to be between you and me. Back then I always wanted a big brother. I remember asking my mom for one, and she said, with that smile on her face “Macam mana Ya nak abang sebab Ya dah besar.” Okay shoot me for asking, I was just six years old, gimme a break. I even had a name for my big brother but that would be a secret. Why a big brother, not a big sister? Well, I’ve always thought that a big sister is simply a pest. A pain in the a**. The one who would constantly nags you, loves to yell without specific reasons or envies you for being the one your father loves a bit more; things like that. My innocent, na├»ve mind always thought that a big bro would be so cool, protecting you from any kinds of trouble.

That was all. One of my fantasies as a small cute girl. But that thought of having a big bro only lasted for a few years. Maybe months, I'm not sure. Are you kidding? I prefer to have it all by myself. LOL.

Free from the pain of sibling jealousy. Okay hold up. Am not saying that I’m spoilt, far from it. One thing about me, I never fret over ‘What if I had siblings? ’ Never.

Fine. It may be true that an only child is spoilt, but there are a few occasions on which I wish there was a brother or sister to share problems, but when I solve my problems on my own, I tend to become a bit stronger and rational person, and actually it is better to spend more time in the company of adults than with my contemporaries. Well, that’s my opinion.

Like I said earlier, people can say/think anything they like.

Thing is, seriously, only a single child would/could understand what another single child feels. It’s true. I mean, come on. Just imagine. How in a world should you, the fifth child out of six siblings know the real deal?

You simply can’t. Never. Full stop.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

Love is a battlefield?

13th of June 2009. The war has begun. My war. Our war, babe. (and thank you so much for the book. Just right on time to have such muse)


In The Art of War: The essential translation of the classic book of life, Master Sun-tzu said;


"Ultimate excellence lies not in winning

every battle,

but in defeating the enemy

without ever fighting."

Book Review : Still Alice

I simply love the book. Actually I finished reading Still Alice about two months ago but never got the chance to write something about it. Until now.

I dig this book not only because it’s an amazing piece of literature but because of its impact on me. I can't stop thinking about it and when I was reading it I couldn't put it down. It is the story of Alice, a brilliant professor of cognitive psychology at Harvard and a world-renowned expert in linguistics who discovers she has early onset Alzheimer's disease.

This book is beautiful and terrifying - ringing true in every word. (and in fact am holding this book in my hand right now resisting the urge to read it again..)

If you really want to know how it looks from the outside, and feels from the inside, to have Alzheimer's Disease, this book will tell you. It is powerful and will stay with me.

Truth is, so many people in their 50's and 60's are worried that this disease lies in wait for them. In fact I used to think a lot about it way before this for I thought about how difficult it is to not just live, but survive by having to entirely depend on someone else. I mean, just imagine.. day by day, you will slowly lose you memory and in a way, yourself, against your will.

Though it can't alleviate anyone's fears I think reading about Alice's struggle might take away the mystery of this identity erasing disease.

The author, Lisa Genova, much like the title character, is a doctor of Neuroscience at Harvard, and well informed on her topic. She shows great insight into the changing mental state of Alice as well as describing some of the same events from the perspective of those who observe Alice.

Finally, for me, Still Alice is more than well worth mentioning.


p/s: When you finally have a copy of this book, take every test Alice is given in the book. Will keep your brains as active as possible.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Of jerawat rindu & buddies huggin'

Dear Diary,

This is to a certain extent a short reminisce of an incident that intrigued me one day. It still manages to make me smile. Up til now.

About a week ago, I had these two big, rather irksome, pinkish pimples; one on my right cheek and the other one around the chin area. Am tellin’ ya, they were perceptible. And guess what, both of them seemed to slowly fade away while I was away on a short trip.

He said that those must have been ‘jerawat rindu’. Yikes!

Anyways.

Last Saturday, on the 13th of July, we went to this dear friend of mine, Peed’s wedding in Soromban and boy..she looked so pretty and amazingly in high spirits, (come la Suria, getting’ married ma..of ‘cos la happy what) hugging her husband.

I am so happy for her.

And what really happened was, me together with my other two wacko buddies, Nana and Dila entered (hold up. We didn’t actually enter the bride’s room. We simply ambushed!) Peed’s room and in no time at all, surrounded them on the bed and in a blink of an eye, started posing in front of the three hired photographers. Even funnier, we kept on posing taking full advantage of the photographers’ talented gift to take our pics using our own cameras after that. In the bride and groom’s room! LOL

Eventho it was a quick get-together for us, it was hugely appreciated and enjoyable. The moment we laid eyes on each other, we couldn’t stop talking and trust me when I tell you this, I didn’t even notice the makciks and pakciks around us. It was so much fun.

All in all, I had a blast. Totally.

On top of that, I managed to sleep wonderfully (without having to stare up the ceiling, blinking for two hours before finally dozing off for maybe three hours top) for four nights in a row, man.

How cool is that?

Yay!

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

Wise Man : Part 9 'Truth hurts, lies worse II'

Me : I've been wondering, can the truth be detrimental to a person?

WM : Well.. sometimes the truth does hurt but it is still worth knowing or telling. Though it can sting, in the long run the truth will be extremely beneficial to someone and it is worth the initial pain.

Me : Then how come people still tell lies?

WM : 'Cos they're bored? (chuckles)

Me : One of the reasons. LOL

WM : Truth is, nowadays in our modern world, no one is a repository of truth, but many are of lies. I guess most think that by not telling the truth, they can somehow be protected from being hurt.

Me : You mean, like some sort of a defense mechanism?

WM : I guess. Okay, just imagine if you gotta choose between tellin' the truth or simply lie. Actually, I'd never really admit this, but I'd rather choose the latter, 'ya knoe.

Me : No doubt at all.

WM : However, let's not talk about me. Okay, just think about it.. if you have to choose. If you tell a lie, then you have to live a lie and in order to live a lie, you have to remember all the lies you tell and to whom. 'Cos, remembering the lies becomes quite a heavy burden.

Me : (sighs) Tell me about it...

WM : Hold up, babe. Why are we having this conversation?

Me : Wait. One more question. Do you think by not telling is the same as lying?

WM : Uh?

Me : (cutting in) Someone told me that it's not entirely the same 'cos when you lie to someone you are going against the truth, while not telling is just withholding it, not that they need to know, either to not hurt that person or to make things less worse. Make sense?

WM : But it depends on the context, babe. And you know what, for me omission aka not telling is just as bad, if not worse, than lying.

Me : Owh?

WM : Maybe I'm not the best person to say this but ... truth hurts, but lies hurt more. Geddit?

Me : Aye aye sir!