There's always tomorrow

The moment of peace after waking up lasts all but ten minutes. Yup, that 'long'. As I go into the bathroom, I feel yesterday's blues reassert themselves in my forehead.

Still, there's no desperate rush this morning. I have time to catch the usual yaks of MHI for a while but at nine o'clock I'm obliged to log on to the computer and start my work. I tell myself that I will not let myself feel rushed. I'll maintain a Zen-like calm, taking moments out of the day to center myself. I will go for breakfast, and not allow myself to get flustered and irritable, unlike yesterday. Geez, yesterday was a catastrophe. Let’s not go into that.

For days now, I've been meaning to set aside time for figuring out a new, cooler way to live. To foster practices that will not let my mood be assaulted by the demands of the day, loads of paperwork, or my own drive to get as much done as I can.

I hope to do that today, but, by twelve thirty I realize that I'm exactly where I don't want to be. I'm constantly pushing myself to work on the scripts marking, I'm anxious and dejected, and I haven't gotten as far in my work as I need to (the shifting deadline is currently set for Friday..yikes!!)

How am I supposed to fit everything else in today, in addition to work: going for that marking, working on my assignments, taking time out to figure out how to be? By five thirty, however, I stop working, turn off the computer and hit the road. Earlier I escaped, during the day, to a cafe with thoughts on catching up with Dr. Hanim's assigned articles, half an hour from the university. I need to get out of the office sometimes to keep my sanity.

But it's too late, now, to do everything I wanted to do, since I'll be going out with the crew not long after Maghrib prayer. Still, I could make a start. But wait, I need to put this down for awhile. Am so in the mood to get this off my chest. There's always something that needs doing today.

And, there's always tomorrow ...err. Right? (boy am I in trouble)