Absence of Songs that Matter.

Dear Of Mas Tulen and Honey, 

I need to talk to you today. Put aside your anger for awhile. You can scold or yell at me after this for I have neglected you for so long. I have no solid reason for not saying anything to you since last year's April; all I know, lack of inspiration is one of the hidden ingredients in the recipe of Suria's Acts. 

Here's the thing; I lost all my songs collections! My Kingston pendrive used in the car is now confirmed by the candy-to-my-eyes UMT tech officer that it is no longer functional. I flinched at once when he told me the news. What came into my mind at the time was; I never had the time to make a copy of those songs! There. I lost them all. Gone. 

As I strolled along the quiet corridor towards my car, my mind was wandering. In that bloody pendrive, I put in all the songs that matter to me. Roughly a total of 5 folders all together and one or two with funny folder names. 

In a weird, childish physical reflex, I had the urge to cry; not literally because of the songs, but the impact of it to me. You see, the songs were collected through the years and categorized accordingly to timeline and specific emotions. Another thing that tugs at my heartstring is, the songs collection is one of a few remaining things that connected me to memories of him. I even named some folders as 'hangin'. 

Right now as I am talking to you, I am recalling the songs that matter. Songs that bring meanings to me. You might be saying that 'get a grip, Suria. Make a new collection. Start anew.' 

Pfutth! Easy for you to say. But hey, you're right in a way. Let bygones be bygones. 

Ok. Enough is enough. 

Private vs. Public

So I came across this conversation between husband and wife on Facebook. Yes, Facebook.

Both are my friends. One was my former fling back in school. Why I am telling this? To clarify any unintended wonder on why I bother such plain conversation between a husband and a wife.

He put up a status on something; which usually friends and relatives would respond and give their comments on the respective status. Seconds later, a comment popped up. From his wife. Regarding their house electrical appliances.

Fine. I mean, everybody deals with house chores; even more when you've just lived in your new first house. No big deal. So I moved on, simply browsing through my account for the next 10 minutes, reading and trying not to puke while people telling stories about their life, how they are enjoying their breakfast of roti canai and tea tarik at the usual hang out. Tasteful.

I went back to this husband/wife-conversation. It has turned into discussing personal domestic events. Get this; they are talking about things that are crystal clear only the two of them know. There is no freakin way that others can join in and give their two cent worth of ideas. They do this where everybody on their freaking friend list can see. I mean, come on!!

Things between a husband and a wife should remain between the two of you. Gees. It is just like the same thing that happens when a wife tells the husband that she misses him terribly on Facebook. Should the wife post the status; a declaration of affection to her husband publicly? Is it that important or expected by all that the public should know that you miss your husband? God!

It would be easier and I guess sweeter right, if you private-message or send a text or whatsapp your husband? But no. It is hot and yummy served in public for all to see.

O oh. Would I be the same once I have someone to call eternally my own? Hope not.

Our way of communicating is hijacked!

This is an entry about my dissatisfaction with a particular mobile network that has been acting like a total double bozo for the past couple of weeks.

Mind you, I have been in a relationship with this network for more than 6 years and it was ok. I mean it never made me turned psychotic for no specific reasons. Until last 2 weeks. It didn't help me at all when as I was in a middle of a cyberchat through Whatsapp or BBM (not yet into weeeeechat), all of a sudden I no longer received any reply. Total silence. I became furious and it got worse if we were in a heated discussion.

Imagine the bloody moment where you can't text or call your loved ones? Eveything is put on hold and imagine the frustration boiling inside when you are demanding some answers.

On contrary, in some wierd circumstance, imagine that unexplainable sensation you experience in your heart when someone tells you in frantic voice that finally oh finally he could reach you on the phone after 15th freakin attempts.

People claim that our communication network system is going haywire due to the fact that we are on the verge of a political war. Maybe it is true cos' am telling you, it's driving me nuts when my wishes and wisdom are not delivered and spread out. Urgh.

As if the nerwork is not a problem already, my phone is pulling on a sad prank on me. Whenever I am on the phone, it dies on me.  

I guess it goes back to the way you view your mechanism in communication.        

Birds, anyone?                                              

Work smart. Pronto!

So I have this 'little' problem with my time management.

Those who work with me are aware of my style; I can simply give my 120% on any task given say, for 4 hours straight (no interruptions of any form in between) and then walla..I am done. Usually the end product is up to the required standard or mind you, sometimes way better than I expected.  

Thing is, other people might take a few days to complete the same task. So, the question is, does that make me a better staff?

Here's the deal.

It's the pressure that makes me, me. I am prone towards performing most things last-minute. Closed ones are worried sick about me (or should I say, my working style). I tend to take things easy and before you know it, I work like a bozo on fire before the deadline, cracking my head up to complete it all. Friends/colleagues are amazed (I guess) because according to them there's no way they could have done it the way I pulled it all off. 

I think I am a spoilt brat when it comes to management. I have.. no wait, need to be reminded. He likes to to do that, which I appreciate. Lets just wait and see how long it stays that way. *wink 

Gees, there are so many things to do! 

Yet.

Here I am, blogging away. Hey, it's good to blog. It gives me time to reflect. To listen to myself giving critical, judgmental opinions about myself. Or others.

I've been making mental notes to give my working style some makeover, ya' know. I am working on it. Like telling myself again and again to compile my previous evaluated paper works and transform them into credible, quality pieces of well-acclaimed journal articles. Urgh. 

Well, at least I made notes in my mind. Better than nothing. Lol.

So..

Listen. Listen. Listen.

Just because...

Tidur selepas Asar

I didn't do it intentionally. I felt asleep and boy it was not good. Period.

I had a weird dream but here's the thing. I am not sure whether a dream is considered a dream when you have it during daytime especially after Asar. It was rather a quick, short dream. One thing for sure, I was with someone whom I cared for and he was close to tears. We were at an entrance of a shopping mall(but no one was there) and he called out for me and he looked sad, his face red-flushed and he was trying to explain something that seemed delicately impossible to understand. I remember staring up at him,eyeing the lines under his eyes and that once cute mole on his cheek.

I woke up so sudden after that. I thought to myself, he might as well in a pretty good condition cos usually we tend to experience the opposite, right? Case closed then.